Nobody has time now
When I was in school many years back, we used to go to our village during the summer holidays and spent weeks living with our grandparents. Every time there was a wedding or an equally important function (according to mom, every function is important), we used to go a few days before the event and stay a few days after the event. Both Amma and Appa had government jobs, and their positions were important. However, they didn't have issues with taking so many leaves for a wedding in the family.
The stay at the village during these events was filled with laughter, delicious food and lots of tea. There were dedicated people whose job was only to make tea numerous times during the day. I acknowledge that women picked up most of the groundwork with little choice.
Eating together on banana leaves every day was an event in itself. The family was so big that we couldn't get everybody to eat at once. There were always multiple rounds of serving. Both men and women picked up the work of serving food. The kids would get the job of filling water.
People had time to sleep for 30-60 minutes after having the food. They spoke about work, life, family and everything under the sun. Invariably the evenings meant playing cards. Seven to Eight people sit in a circle and play the cards with much fanfare. Again kids got the all-important job of maintaining the scorecard.
Since we did not have the luxury of borewells or motors, we had to draw water from the well. We tied the rope to the plastic pot and drew the water from the well. We had a lot of fun doing it. It would take an hour or two to fill the water in all the containers possible in the house.
As the event date came close, everybody started taking on responsibilities, and there was an alignment on who did what. Everybody shared the workload, and there was a smile on their face while doing the work. I am sure there were a lot of hardships and altercations that happened behind the scenes, but none of it came to the forefront and stopped the work. People figured out how to navigate these situations without losing their cool.
Over the years, people stopped coming many days before the event. They got jobs that only allowed them to take a few leaves. They had EMIs to pay and could not afford to risk their jobs for a relative's wedding. The focus shifted from one large family to our smaller family for the right reasons. Schools and colleges have become more demanding. You had to get a rank to get a good seat to secure your future. You couldn't afford to lose being left behind to attend family gatherings. Aspirations became more significant, and everything coming in the way of them started getting less attention.
Now nobody comes days before the event. The close relatives come a day before if feasible and then return on the same day of the event or the day after. Everybody has a job to return to, obligations to attend to, and routines to execute. Nobody is slowing down. Everybody has picked up their lane and is in the race with no finish line. The millennials growing up in the 90s must have seen both worlds and found the change jarring. Maybe times will change; perhaps they won't.