Appa's last day
The previous night, Sep 13, 2022, we returned from the Hospital knowing that being there would not matter. Appa had been put on a ventilator and given medication for his infection. He was in ICU, and we weren't allowed inside except when the Doctors wanted us to be inside. Amma and I came back home and had dinner. We were exhausted and slept. I did not sleep well and felt heavy when I woke up the next day.
A dear friend told me that the progress made during the night would confirm if Dad's body could fight back the infection. We were hoping that there would be progress. We went prepared to stay the day in the Hospital.
I knew I would need to make multiple trips between the Hospital and the house and hence had even put up the power bank on charging. We reached at around 8:35 AM and asked the nurse if we could visit Appa inside the ICU. She said we could not and should wait for the Doctor to come. She was expected to come around 10.
We went to the nearby restaurant and had our breakfast. Amma and I knew it would be a long day, so we had a heavy breakfast. We came back to the Hospital and waited. The Doctor called me at around 10:15 AM. I went inside, and there were three doctors near Appa. One of them said he had not improved since last night and that his condition had worsened. He added that he is now highly critical. The plastic surgeon showed me the impact of the procedure she had done the previous day. She had made a few cuts through the legs to eliminate the infection. Though she had done it, his leg was not healing and had to be put on additional support. This lack of healing was primarily due to his condition of Diabetes. The other Doctor said the creatinine value had increased to 2.8 from 2.3.
Whatever hope we had of his recovery diminished.
I came out and conveyed the news to Amma. She burst into tears. I couldn't control myself. But I had to stay strong to receive these updates and take calls. Amma and I were not the only ones in the Hospital anymore. We got support from family and friends.
A couple of hours later, they called me inside again. When I went in, I saw a Doctor giving the shocks to Appa's chest. His heart rate had become abnormal. They told me what they were doing and asked if they should provide CPR should the heart condition worsen. I said, please do everything you can to save him.
Until then, the thought of his passing away did not come into my mind. I spoke to my cousin, who is a Doctor, and she told me if Appa is taken off the ventilator, then there is very little chance of him making it. I sat down on the pavement outside the Hospital as I made sense of that statement.
I took my friend to the nearby restaurant, and we had coffee. I also took coffee back to the Hospital for Amma. Meanwhile, my Uncle, who understands the world of medicine, had gone inside the ICU, reviewed the reports, and had a conversation with doctors. He came out and took me aside and asked me where we should do the last rites; Hyderabad or Kodambal. I told him that Appa preferred the village always. At this point, his imminent death became a reality.
Amma and I went for Lunch along with a relative. While we had the food, I got a call from the Hospital asking me to come immediately. I told them my Uncle was there and he could go into the ICU, but they insisted I also come. I dropped everything and went. That walk to the Hospital was treacherous. I went inside the ICU and saw nine people surrounding Appa's bed. They were all giving him CPR. They were pressing his chest repeatedly with force. The heart rate monitor was beeping continuously. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I burst into tears but knew If I would breakdown, they would ask me to go out of ICU. I saw them trying to revive him. I immediately called Amma and asked her to drop everything off and just come to ICU.
She came inside and saw the same sight my Uncle and I were seeing. She cried and tried to go close to the bed to get a better view of Appa. We had to whisk her away from the ICU. I made her sit outside with other relatives and went back into the ICU. Doctors confirmed it would take time for the flat line to appear. Ten minutes later, they called my Uncle and me inside. They confirmed he was no more and said he died at 2:47 PM.
I did not know how to react. I just went about doing the formalities in the usual way. It took us a few hours to get out of the Hospital and prepare for Appa's final journey back home.